Okay. So I promised I would post today, so here it is. The title pretty much gives you an idea of what I'm talking about, so don't read if you don't like rants.
First of all, the future. I have dreams. So many dreams. Ones that can never happen, ones that probably won't happen and ones that I'm already starting to live (hopefully). These dreams, these wishes, make my heart beat against my chest every time I think about them.
I want to become a dancer. Not just a dancer... or just a dance teacher. I want to just leap and twirl my way to a giant stage and live dance. Dancing has to be a lifestyle when it's me; not just a hobby, like art or writing is for me.
My dad says "If you become a writer..." or "When you become a writer..." but the truth is, writing is just a hobby. Seriously, that's it. Just because I do NaNoWriMo or because publishing interests me it doesn't mean writing is my passion.
Art isn't my passion, either. I draw as a hobby, and a hobby only.
So, the thing is, I want to dance. I'm starting to live that dream, I think. But I feel so overwhelmed about my future and what I need/want to do and I'm only twelve. freaking. years. old.
Second is college... I don't want to go to college. Unless you're going to become a doctor or nurse or anything like that, I think it's a waste of time and money. Nothing that interests has to have a field certification, but everyone seems to think I won't become anything in life unless I go to a good college.
Now, I'll say this: I love American Heritage Girls. It's a cool, fun, program, but I recently had to do a board of review to finish a really important badge I was working on, and they asked me if I was going to work on the biggest award of AHG. I said yes and the ladies were like 'great, it's good to put on a form for college'.
I should learn to keep my yap shut. "I don't want to go to college."
I'll leave you to guess what happened from there. Eeep.
The thing is, I get it: life isn't going to turn out exactly how I plan it. Nothing ever does. But can't people just accept the fact that I don't want to go to college? It's not going to kill me if I don't. But nobody seems to get that. And that's why it angers me.
So, rant over. TTYL.