Saturday, April 15, 2017

Yes, I'm fat. Yes, I dance.

Hey Stars.

 Okay... I am seriously ticked off right now. I was watching plus-sized dance videos online, because I love seeing other dancers my size working hard and breaking down stereotypes. It's empowering and relieving to know I'm not alone because my size.
 And on top of my weight, I also have scoliosis and ended up having spinal fusion. I still am extremely flexible but it's taking me a long time to get where I'm at because all of the flexibility I had before my surgery pretty much diminished afterwards.
  And I realize I have been so sheltered because most of my dance training has been at a very accepting, very loving, dance studio. So as I scroll through to find more videos and end up seeing some of the horrible, nasty, terrible comments left on these videos, I feel hurt and disheartened.
 I picked some of the bad (not even the worst) comments and I'm putting them here and and doing a bit of a call-out post, because it frustrates me to no freaking end that people feel like fat people can't dance.

 In response to Hela Summers; first of all, 'darling', do you know how to use capitalization or punctuation? Second, no one is 'tossing' anyone. That would be dangerous no matter the weight of the dancer. Third, it's typically males- 'blokes', I suppose- who do lifts.
 So yes, it will be harder, but women- or 'chicks' as you say (please don't call women that, by the way. It's rather demeaning,)- don't typically do that, so just learn who does what in ballet before saying that. Thanks.

 In response to pediatrapola; wow, that spelling is something else. Anyways, I am not politically correct either, but you're past not being politically correcting and are just stepping into the region of being a butt. Diets don't do anything. Eating healthy does something. And you can eat healthy, and be active, and still be heavy. It IS possible and dance is NOT an improbable nor impossible dream. Think before you speak; saying sorry doesn't make what you've said not rude or offensive. How shocking (yes, that is sarcasm,)!

  In response to pediatrapola; oh my goodness, I feel like I just said something else to you! That might be because I DID. Ballet is for all people. Tall, short, thin, average, fat, black, white, male, female. Ballet is for anyone who wants to do ballet.

 In response to jada styles; if you feel bad saying that, why did you say it? Heavy dancers can do just as much as thin (NOT fit. You can be heavy and healthy- total shocker! Oh my gosh! Who knew, right!?) dancers if they put their mind to it. It's people like you who put doubt in their/our minds to make us feel like we can't, so then we don't try as hard, when in reality, we can dance just as well. And who says a fat dancer can't do multiple fouettes? Most thin dancers can't do that many, either.

  In Response to Roman; fat dancers are... fat? Wow... I can't believe that. I need a cold rag for my forehead and a chair. I think I might faint. My whole fat freaking world is crashing down around me, I can't breathe, I am now in a state of eternal shock... not. Fat people CAN be ballet dancers, and I'm sure more would, if people like you didn't have to be so dumb. Weight does not equal skill.

  In response to 63Malda; first of all, what is fat shamming? I've heard of fat shaming, but never fat shamming. Anyway, they are not damaging their joints. You don't know these dancers and you can't say if they're healthy or not. Also, shame on YOU, not the teachers. I thank God for teachers who don't turn students away based on weight, because they are amazing.

  In response to Sam Chop; okay, this guy. You- you are what is wrong with this world. I saw your comment and just about exploded. I'm going to make you a bullet list will hopefully be easier for your brain to comprehend. (also, in the comment thread below this comment, someone called him out, and he said "Sorry for being rude :3" but then proceeded to respond to some other comments still being super jerky. This isn't just rude. This is straight up nasty and angering,).
  1. First of all, I'm impressed with the fact that you actually used physiology correctly. About the only thing you said that was correct, in fact.
  2. Fat people can dance and be perfectly fine with their joints. How much do you weigh and have you ever tried? Or do you at least have reliable, scientific references?
  3. Or, you know, they could be doing it to lose weight instead of sitting on the couch doing nothing because hypocrites like you want people to lose weight, but anytime they/we do something active, you automatically try to shut us down.
  4. Plus size people should be allowed to do whatever activity they want, just like thin people.
  5. Ooh, this part made me want to reach through the computer, grab you, and smack you so fast and hard you wouldn't know what hit you. I don't care if you don't want to watch someone fat do ballet. Nobody asked you, did they? Nope. You're not the world's foremost ballet critic or something. Have you ever even taken dance at all? I want to know if you know anything that you're talking about.
  6. FAT WOMEN ARE JUST AS BEAUTIFUL AS THIN WOMEN AND VICE VERSA. All women are freaking gorgeous. I mean, like me. I'm drop dead beautiful and I'm fat as heck. And fat women can be poised, just like thin women may not be. And saying you'll pick the 'hot chicks' (there's that awful word again, plus, you didn't even spell it correctly,) means you'd pick all women because we're all hot.
  7. FAT PEOPLE ARE NOT GROSS AND WE DO NOT STINK. You want to know who is gross? You are, Sam Chop with that stupid polar bear picture. You hide behind that stupid polar bear and call people disgusting from home. Would you say this stuff out loud? If not, you shouldn't say it at all, and if yes, how has no one punched your teeth out yet?
 In response to Lauraisx; thank you so much for actually being kind! I appreciate it so much. 

 In response to Nunsuch; I'll tell you what you can cut. (: But seriously, this is really freaking empowering, and actually, you are too, because you empower to be the best person I can be; in other words, the exact opposite of you.

 In response to Roman (...again,); this was just uncalled for. You make me want to scream. You are what is wrong with this world. Fat women are people too, more people-like than you. I have quite a few insults I want to put here but I probably shouldn't. This post is snarky enough. Have a nice life. (:

 Away from those comments now, I am so sorry about how nasty I got. I just get so tired of people berating others and saying they can't do things because of their looks.

 Dance is my passion. It's the only thing other than God that has kept me sane in all of the sucky things my family has lived through. I don't know where I'd be without dance. And here lately I have been doubting myself so bad, and honestly, I don't open up about this a lot, but I've grown to hate my body.
 Seeing these comments doesn't help. It makes me feel helpless. Disgusting. Like I doesn't deserve to dance, or have fun, or even be loved. And perhaps that makes me look whiney or pathetic or like a "precious fragile snowflake" or whatever bullpoop people are throwing around on the internet these days, but I don't care. Maybe I am. I seriously don't care. People are nasty, and horrible, and here lately it's been even more common.

 But then I realized: I can prove them wrong. I can be the fat as heck dancer with the double chin when she leans back and the stretch marks hidden by a X-large leotard. I'm going to work so freaking hard and go en pointe and try as hard as possible to break this stigma.
 So here's to you, haters, for just making me want to try harder.
 I can't wait for the day that we won't need labels of plus sized dancers, and thin dancers, and such. But until that day comes, I wear the label fat dancer proudly, because I want to make it possible for future children, teens, and adults to do something they love without such a horrible stigma.

Talk to you later,
Hannah Song

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